Grief Is for People

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of death by suicide and mental illness.

Also termed “cumulative grief” (65), the narrative explains that this is an overwhelming sense of helplessness and sadness that comes when more than one loss occurs in close proximity. For Crosley, the death of Russell coming so quickly after the theft of her jewelry creates grief overload. The burglary impacts Crosley by taking away her sense of safety and control—feelings that are exasperated and confounded when Russell dies. That Russell’s death was unanticipated and therefore shocking further heightens Crosley’s grief experience.

“Object permanence” is a term from the field of psychology that refers to a person’s knowledge that an item still exists even when it is not in sight. Babies learning object permanence is an important developmental stage: When babies learn this, they understand that, for instance, if they are shown a toy and then the toy is hidden from them, the toy has not ceased to exist. An object’s existence and identity, then, is not dependent on whether or not an outside person sees it.

Crosley applies this principle to her stolen jewelry: Though the jewelry is missing and thus out of sight, she assures herself that it remains present somewhere in the world.