Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat

On the planet Lyttyrboks, former evil emperor Wyss-Kuzz is dragged from a nap and brought before the Supremest Court of All Galactic Order. For his Hanus crimes, the court resurrects the old punishment of sending Wyss-Kuzz to a planet populated by carnivorous ogres. Wyss-Kuzz vows revenge right before he is shoved into a teleporter and transported “to the most horrible, distant, and desolate planet in the universe: Earth” (8).

In Elba, Oregon, a human boy named Raj lies on the floor and stares out the window, deeply and desperately bored. His family recently moved across the country, and he has nothing to do and no friends. When Raj sees a green light in the sky, he shrugs it off as just “another weird thing about Oregon” (12) and goes back to being bored until the doorbell rings.

Wyss-Kuzz arrives on Earth, disgusted to find liquid falling from the sky. He climbs a tree and surveys the human fortresses—hulking structures with wooden perimeter defenses and tank-like vehicles out front. He concludes, “[T]his must be a very warlike planet indeed” (14). Wanting protection and eager to escape the falling liquid, Wyss-Kuzz runs to the closest structure and presses a button beside the door, believing that it will allow him entry.